Laugh at Yourself!

 Lets all be honest. Would this not be a better world if we all could just laugh at ourselves? Why not? We laugh at everyone else! All the idiosyncrasies, quirks, and blemishes in our own personalities make this whole gong show they call life worthwhile. Some of our own qualities we think of as flaws, are the same ones that others love and admire us for.

Take a step back, don’t worry about being so perfect, and have a good ole’ out loud, “slap your knee and piss down your leg laugh at yourself”.

You are worth it!!!!!!

Golf

" Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing. something he was born with, that's our's and our's alone. something that can't be taught to you or learned. something that has to be remembered."

Although I have only been golfing for over a year, my insatiable passion for the sport has brought be to the brink of addiction. When I sit back and think about why, I can only come up with one logical answer.

The main reason

There is no other sport like it in the world

You could be 70 or 20, 300 lbs or 100lbs

The fate of your game is in your hands and your hands alone.

 

I have a feeling there will be more golf musings by me in the future so for now I will leave you with this little gem.

Always a classic.

 

Aphrodisiac anyone?

My morning ritual: a large glass of green tea, a check of the e-mail, and a quick browse through the channels (which inevitably ends up on the Food Network so I don’t know why I even bother). This particular morning I stumbled across a film I hadn’t seen in some time. A film which moved me deeply the first and second time I had seen it, so I figured it would be a perfect way to embark on my day.

 Chocolat 

An aesthetic and savory adventure about love and chocolate, and what happens when the two unite. It takes place in a quaint little French village filled with very religious and, well…frigid people. Until one day a women moves in and starts her own Chocolaterie. Even without the deliciousness of watching Johnny Depp prance around, the whole story leaves you feeling alive and chock-full of passion. No pun intended. But what it does do the most of, is pose the question…

Can one be physically aroused by the simple taste of chocolate?

They say that a person’s senses, if utilized properly, can mentally transform your state of mind. And if it is true that sex and lust are 90% mental to begin with, then who is to say that a bite of chocolate wont light a little spark under your libido? And what about the other senses? Obviously perfume and cologne were not invented to simply mask odor. Rose petals are not thrown on beds just for decoration. Music is not played over a moonlight dance to distract from conversation. All of those things have at least one, if not two, sense sparking components that aid in the ever fascinating quest for love.

 Lets be honest. It doesn’t really have to be chocolate or even sweet necessarily does it? What about oysters or caviar; ice cream or cotton candy? Every one has their own set of private little aphrodisiacs; even if they don’t know what they are.

So go out there and let your senses run free. Embrace the smells and tastes, the lights and sounds. Sit by the ocean and smell the sea air. Listen to the waves crash on the shore. We only live once after all, mine as well keep our mojo’s running as long as possible. 🙂

And as for me?

Well that’s easy.

Stone Crabs!!!!!!! Sighhhhhhhhh

Karma

 

An old and dear friend of mine recently sent me this list,  and although it seems very simplistic, I find it exceptionally gratifying. After all, the little actions we choose to represent ourselves with, are what make up our soul.

 

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.

FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much…

NINE.  Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

TEN.  In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice 

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Robert Redford speaks out

 

 This docu-short made by Robert Redford is most definitely worth the 5 minutes it takes to watch.

Folgers Commercial

Ok….I fully admit that I do not have a high tolerance for tear control, but anyone who does not get a little choked up by this, might need a few more hugs. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

 

Barbara Walters most fascinating BORE!!!!!

I will open with a statement to miss “Wa Wa” herself, (as she undoubtedly reads all of my blogs)…

 ” I love you dearly, but your most fascinating people of 2009  was CRAP. “

I would hope that with 10 people to choose from, I would at least agree with 5 of them. Unfortunately I could only stomach  4

Michelle Obama – Definitely fascinating….although I  wish they did not spend 5 minutes discussing her arms…reallly?

Lady Gaga – Absolutely…..what a performer and inovator….don’t really care about how many women she slept with though….she’s weird and eclectic and apparently bi or tri sexual…..Qu”e Sera Sera….keep on.

Tyler Perry – Great choice…i agree

Brett Favre – Ditto

After that it pretty much goes down hill

Glenn Beck – Probably should be commited….before he turns more seemingly normal republicans into crazed lunatics.

Kate Gosselin – REALLY? There is NOTHING fascinating about that broad.

Adam Lambert – Go play in traffic.

 

Sarah Palin – She was on it last year…ENOUGH! Maybe next year she can figure out what magazines she reads and they can have a whole new special about that.

Blanket and the other two Jackson children – interview them in 5 years… I can’t wait to see what they turn out to be 🙂

Jenny Sanford – WOW….a politicains wife who found her husband cheating on her….ohhhhhh…ahhhhhhhh.

Two words Barbara :

TAYLOR SWIFT

 

I Am Back :)

Annnnnnnnnd SCENE!

I am pleased to announce that my writing hiatus is officially over. Due to overwhelming enthusiasm for more of my mindless and ever so simplistic writings, I am back in the saddle again. It was not for lack of inspiration that I have not been writing. In fact I have been spending the past few month’s focusing on my cooking and drawing. I truly believe that one should allow themselves the pleasure of trying new and challenging art’s in order to find the best you. But I am finally having official withdrawals from my pointless spouting. So please check back soon. I promise there will be……

 AND

The soundtrack of your life

 As I drove around today shuffling through the 1,300 songs on my Ipod, while trying to justify the endless amount of 1950’s tunes, I fully recognized that living is not really living without music. My first memory involving this revelation came at a difficult time in my life. Hurricane Andrew had just hit, and I was spending the summer before my 8th grade year with my brother… (my mothers attempt to spare me the pain and strife of what was occurring in our lives). Just when I thought those two months were a total wash, I discovered a beautiful little gem…..hidden right behind a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers video. Grease 2. Yes indeed, my days of wallowing in self pity were to be no more. I knew from that moment on that my future school years were going to be extraordinary. I would  be the leader of group just as sassy and fabulous as the pink ladies, and we would sing and dance our way into each class. Unfortunately, when I did make it to 8th grade I accrued the notion that my singing dream would end with the National Anthem. Thinking back on those times has brought me to the verdict: 

 Every person’s life should have a soundtrack.

Think about it. What truly exemplifies a moment better than music.

So I have compiled a sample list of some of the tunes you might hear in my life’s soundtrack.

1) It is absolutely imperative that Julie Andrews sing lullaby’s to my children every night before they go to sleep. And occasionally to me as well.

2) I prefer Jimmy Buffett or to be idle while i am anywhere near the beach, boat, or pool.

3) When I am sad you will hear Nina Simon or Billy Holiday

4) When I refuse to motivate myself to work out Or get the opportunity to save someones life… insert:

5) If and when I decide to spend the evening feeling sorry for myself, while downing a bottle of wine and wearing a white negligee, any one of the following with suffice: “One less bell to answer” The Fifth Dimension, and “Break it to me gently” Juice Newton.

6) When I am about to enter the pearly gates of heaven I would like Karen Carpenter to open them while singing ” Close To You”.

7) When I feel like stripping, “Feelin’ Love” Paula Cole, “You can leave your hat on” Joe Cocker, or “Black Velvet” Allanah Myles.

8 ) When at a bar, feel like dancing, but cannot muster up the courage…insert:

9) When I am extremely angry at don’t care what anyone thinks you might hear: “C*mon Fell The Noize” Quiet Riot

10) And when I first wake up in the morning, with the birds chirping and the the whole day ahead of me:  “The Feather Theme” from Forrest Gump

 Music is not just instruments and beats. The words, just like a monologue or a conversation, are there to tell a story. All you have to do…is listen

What would your soundtrack be?

Message in a Bottle

“To all the ships at sea….and all the ports of call. To my family…and to all friends and strangers. This is a message and a prayer. The message is that my travels taught me a great truth. I already had what everyone is searching for…and few ever find: The one person in the world who I was born to love forever. A person like me, of the Outer Banks and the blue Atlantic mystery. A person rich in simple treasures…self-made, self taught. A harbor where I am forever home. And no wind or trouble…or even a little death can knock down this house. The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love…and be healed by it. if my prayer is heard, then there will be an erasing of all guilt…and all regret….and an end to all anger.”

Please God.

Amen.

This letter is one of many featured in the book and film “Message in a Bottle”, by Nicholas Sparks. My affinity for his novels is no secret. One might say that I am a bit obsessed really. Yes, believe it or not, I am a women who basks in the glory of a good love story. And he certainly knows how to write one.

As I am often inspired by the little things in life, I find the idea of sending out a “message in a bottle” enthralling. Sending a feeling out to the unknown with no finite knowledge of its destination or reaction. Who will it reach?  And in this particular instance, is it possible for the person who finds that message to feel the same way? Is that kind of love tangible?

As little girls we all dream of the fairytale romance. The knight in shinning armor rescuing us from the dragon and holding us in their arms for eternity. Although I rarely run across many dragons I cannot handle myself, I still remember the anticipation of meeting my “soul mate”. The one person in the world you are meant to love forever, and that no matter where you are in life, they will find you.

Childish? Perhaps. Possible?

What is it about women that makes us need the fairytale? Isn’t it possible to have “many” soul mates, in all different ports, and let dependence on which one we dock at determine our fate?

Most men find all of this talk ridiculous and redundant. I do not blame them. It is a topic highly overdone. But lets look at it from a different standpoint. Take Nicholas Sparks for example. The past three novels of his that were made into films were box office GOLD. “The Notebook”, “Message in a Bottle”, and “Nights in Rodanthe” all had women FLOCKING like wild geese to the theaters. The numbers that his films generate, keep studio executives in high pants, and  women all over the world believing in fairytales.

Listen, I don’t necessarily think that i am going to find a letter on the beach from a man across the country to his dead wife, and then meet him and fall in love with each other 🙂 . But I do believe in love.  Whether it comes in the form we once dreamed of or not. People are meant to be with other people. We are meant to mate, and nurture, and quarrel and hurt. It is nature at it’s best. And if you are smart enough to follow your own inner compass in the right direction…..I believe anything is possible.

Until then…..we always have Nicholas Sparks..

Dear Catherine,

My life began when I found you, and I thought it had ended when I failed to save you. I thought that hanging on to your memory was keeping us both alive…but I was wrong. A women named Theresa showed me that if I was brave enough to open my heart, I could love again….no matter how terrible my grief. She made me realize I was only half-alive. It scared me and it hurt. I didn’t know how much I needed her till the night she flew away. When that airplane took off I felt something inside me tear away, and I knew I should have stopped her…..I should have followed her home. And now…tomorrow…I am going to sail to the windy point, and I am going to say goodbye to you. Them i am going to this woman and see if I can win her heart. If I can….I know you will bless me….And bless us all. If I can’t, then I am still blessed because I had the privilege of loving twice in my life. She gave me that. And if I tell you that I love her as much as I loved you…….then you’ll know the whole story. Rest in peace my love.

Garret

www.nicholassparks.com