Why do we play games?

Today I got to thinking about communication and relationships. It seems that there is so much game playing going on half the time, you end up concocting your way through the whole relationship. Take a new relationship for example. You go out a couple of times….both enjoy yourself, and mutually feel ready to continue to the next step.

Step 1 – Sex

After this happens there are many things to consider regarding your next move. If one party did not like it and the other did, you cross the path of, “how do i make them get the hint without coming out and saying it?” But if you both enjoyed yourself, and clearly want to continue on, how do you play it?

Girl : “If he does not call me tomorrow than I can assume he was either using me for sex or it was bad so he is no longer interested.”

Guy :“If i call her tomorrow it is going to look like i am desperate and obsessive…wait three days.”

Step 2 – The Beginning

Girl :“I am spending 5 nights out of 7 at his house and my duffel bag purse can only hold so much. I think it is only practical to leave a toothbrush, panties, 3 casual outfits, perfume and misc toiletries at his place.”

Guy : “I looked in my medicine cabinet and saw perfume, Tylenol, and a Venus razor. What gives. Does she think she is moving in with me because i did not ask her to move in with me?  Stop sleepovers till this cools down.”

At what point do you just cut the shit and say “screw it”. If you like the girl and want to see her again CALL HER. No women is going to ever be disappointed to hear from a man the day after having sex. EVER. And if you are going to leave things at his place just tell him, “Listen, would you mind if i left some things here? It is inconvenient for me to lug it all around and i love spending time with you”.

 When is it appropriate to just flat out come out and say how you feel?

Step 3 : The Breakup

breakup

 

So it’s done. You both have your reasons for it, and yet, the ficade remains.

Girl :“I know that i am going to run into him at this party, and I am going to make sure I look amazing and sparkle with happiness. I am going to show that i am totally over him and flirt with every man there just to prove it. Who cares if i have spent the past week at home watching lifetime and drinking wine out a box.”

Guy : I know i am going to run into her at this party, and I have to make sure I am SUPER sensitive to her needs. I know she is hurting, so I am going to ask her if she is okay, and send the “eyebrow raise / pressed lips”  look to her from across the room every 10 minutes for security.

Now cliche aside, this happens all the time. Why don’t we want them to know we are hurting? As if they are getting satisfaction out of it? If that is the case then thank God you broke up in the first place. And why can’t they just be themselves and keep their respectful distance? It is exhausting trying to figure out how to display how you are NOT really feeling, while secretly hoping they will know how you ARE really feeling, while pretending that you both do or don’t care.

screaming_womansmall1

I say the hell with it. Go up to each other and smile. Genuinely give consideration to good times in the past, and move on.

Or you can go can up to him and say:

“Cheers….it’s good to see you….by the way you were lousy in bed…have a good night.”

🙂 Either way 🙂

~ by randiann on June 14, 2009.

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