Love and Marriage

love 

For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking  about love and relationships. Why do some work and others don’t? What type of personality’s work best together? These questions have been pondered and analyzed for centuries. One can presume to say that these type of questions essentially fit under the “unanswerable” category. My first mindboggler involves the actually chemistry between people.

Sexual Chemistry vs. Emotional Chemistry

I can say first hand that this particular conundrum has been an ongoing challenge of mine for years. 90% of all my personal relationships / encounters, have landed in this arena. One always ends up outwaying the other. Some people seem to think that this is normal, and that sexual chemistry is something that can grow and be achieved only after the relationship is underway. I just read an article recently examining a similar topic regarding marriage. In it they promote “friendship first”, as being the leading successful relationship tactic. But what happened to the “Za Za Zu“?That unbearable feeling of  heat. That glance across the room that makes you want to ravish one another. Is that not important anymore? On the other hand, some might say that if you have that in the beginning, the emotional connection can grow from that……… “Meh“. I can name 6 people that I know personally, that don’t consider the sexual aspect of their relashionship pertinent. Protection, security, and comfortability are enough for them. Do I believe it? I think I do, and at the same time get a feeling of sadness in knowing that. In knowing that not everyone gets the fairytale.

“Life is so peculiar but as everybody says, that’s life”. Louis Armstrong

Personality types

 For the most part I believe that each person fits into a certain classification. Some people have a little of both, but generally speaking I think we can all pinpoint what “type” we are.

A) The Strong: The fighter in the relationship. The passionate one. Usually likes to be “right” at all times. Great lover.

B) The Meek:  The soft spoken, gentle, “lets not fight” mentality. Usually doesn’t speak up when something bothers them in order to avoid confrontation. Can also be a great lover, but in more of a docile sense.

couple-fighting10

Couple 1 : A + A – This couple usually starts out EXTREMELY hot and heavy. They tend to fight more, while the makeup is usually worth it :). An argument is never “won” ,because no one will back down. This couple, on the exterior, would be presumed more likely to cheat.

boring-yv_678477c

Couple 2: B + B –Ahhhh the sweetness of them. They love to love. No fighting. No conflicts. They work out their personal issues with one another by avoiding them. Neither of them wants to hurt the other, so they wade through life trying to enjoy everything for its face value.

Couple 3: A + B –One pushes, while the other pulls. They balance each other out on a tempermate level, while imparting their own traits on one another.

I have witnessed, in my own personal life, all three of these couples in a marriage. Couple 1, although together for MANY years, flamed out, so to speak. Changed. When the focus on the passion died, all else died right along with it. Couple 2, also together for many years. Happily? Apparently not. the lack of communication on both parts ended up coming down to a dramatic, and painful end, without time for the, “unaware of the problem party” to change or fix it. So you guessed it….who is still going strong? Couple 3. Sure their are hard times, but for over 33 years the compromise and the variety has kept them strong.

 Again, their really is no definite answer. What I believe is that people do change. Sometimes you might be madly in love with someone and somthing changes inside of you. It could be about work, money, aging, physicality, children, who knows. But that changes the love you felt for your partner and vice-versa. Either way, love is worth risking it all for. Who knows if it is going to work out or not. The Gods may throw the dice and you get what you are dealt with. Don’t shy away from it, or try to pick it apart. Sometimes the little mysteries in life are the things worth living for. I do believe though, that if you are going to go the distance, and make the commitment, be ready for the work.

 “So it’s not going to be easy it’s going to be really hard and we are going to have to work at this everyday. But I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you..forever…you and me, everyday”.  Noah Calhoun The Notebook

 

 

TheNotebook016

 

 

I think sometimes you have to open up yourself to the possibility of the fairytail. Look around…..it happens 🙂

When asked about his 50 year marriage, and all the temptations in Hollywood, Paul Newman has said,

“Why fool around with hamburger when I have steak at home”

🙂

~ by randiann on June 9, 2009.

One Response to “Love and Marriage”

  1. nice story and pic are really good..
    can u add my site link in ur blog roll if yes mail me please

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